Campaign To Re-brand America

"New State Slogans"

Freckle and Sons Media Consultants

Colorado
"Too many white people."

Oklahoma
"It will cost you to drive through here."
"Chicken legs, chicken everything." 
"Toby Keith--he's alright."

Texas
"Homo-say-what???"
"Outsized, unwieldy." 
"The ol' President hole." 
"Evolution stops here."

Arizona
"Move, we dare you."
"Like a hot knife in the sun."
"Land of the mean, dirty sweat."

Florida
"Slip into a pair of big shorts."
"Take your shirt off."
"Get burnt."
"Birthplace of metal."
"Unnatural Anomaly" 

Alabama
"Fuck off; I'm tryin to find this thing..."
"Having another soda-pop!"

Mississippi
"You act as though we give a care."
"Readership Down"

Louisiana
"We bury you above ground."

Utah
"Everything's Normal Over Here"

Nevada
"Anything goes."
"Oh my god. . ."

Arkansas
"It's a state."
"That one guy." 

New England
"You moved away from here."

Tennessee
"A good place to pick up some shit." 
"Knock three times on the door, walk down to the corner."

Montana
"Another thing you can do."

Kansas
"If we could we would throw another right angle in there."
"Your uncle might be in our penitentiary." 

Massachusetts
"Self-involved."

Alaska
"You could hide here."
"Bottom's Up." 

North Carolina
"Still voting for Jesse Helms."
"Still smoking cigarettes."
"Don't."

Wyoming
"Doubling always for Siberia in Rocky V."

South Dakota
"Remembering the buffalo in our own special way."

New York
"Madness is an itch you can never reach."

Oregon
"Less inviting than you would hope."

Missouri
"We used to be the west."
"Make something in a cave."
"Flat on top, hilly down below."
"Show-me-but-I-ain't-lookin State" 

Georgia
"Oh Duane. . ." 


Ohio
"10% Less Butterfact"

California
"We kinda tried."
"It does not make any sense to us either."
"Making another 3 Musketeers."
"Television!"

Television
"A mirror this big should be scaring the fuck out of you."
"Sleeping with the lights on."

District of Columbia
"Trying to cement 'history'."
"Baldly Going Where Every Man Has Gone Before"

New Mexico
"Sencilla."
"Stop and think for a minute."