“Dog In The Butter”

Internal Document

Subject opened a Twitter account on September 2, 2010. Final post to that account would arrive on September 30, 2010.

The following is a transcript of all tweets published those 21 days.

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Excuse me while I kiss the sky.

9.02.10

9:10 AM

Thinking about buying Burger King.

9.02.10

9:20 AM

Dang. Burger King purchased today.

9.02.10

11:51 AM

And I love their original chicken sandwich. Definitely Top 5 of the fast food delicacies.

9.02.10

11:52 AM

Color me burned.

9.02.10

11:52 AM

always follow your impulse.

9.02.10

12:15 AM

@littlefoot72 you and me, turd. you and me.

9.02.10

11:53 PM

would I be cooler had I been born in 1990?

9.02.10

11:54 PM

@gonzotruk I know, I know. we used to be hilarious.

9.02.10

11:57 PM

i’m pretty tired

9.03.10

12:06 AM

Definitely tired.

9.03.10

12:09 AM

if I had another me… hmm…

9.03.10

12:23AM

did u see that thing about how small the sun is?? what’s next???

9.03.10

12:25 AM

I’m growing leaves out of my body like a tree. I can’t bend over

9.03.10

2:33 AM

the Jackson Five should have been called Michael Jackson

9.03.10

2:34 AM

@fivefingeredjackson i just mean that tito is extremely good looking

9.03.10

2:40 AM

sometimes things don’t come out like u mean ‘em… lol

9.03.10

2:46 AM

ime tired

9.03.10

3:12 AM

my cat cut a fart that smells like a Slim Jim – I’m half disgusted, half starving

9.03.10

3:50 AM

@missy2jingle i know!! they all taste like that

9.03.10

4:01 AM

anybody got five bucks I can borrow?

9.03.10

10:42 AM

@bedsidemanor thank you. yeah. the sweats broke. couple weeks we'll be having the time of our life.

9.04.10

1:09 PM

if you can’t smoke a frog, lick it.

9.04.10

1:12 PM

I meant to say that if you can lick a frog, join it.

9.04.10

1:31 PM

The Reasons Why Everything All The Time

9.04.10

1:37 PM

Duck Man awoke in the fecal position. His first thought: “I’m under water.”

9.05.10

11:52 AM

Reluctantly he reached for the Duck suit.

9.05.10

11:54 AM

That uncomfortable pulling it over the body.

9:05.10

11:54 AM

The stretch, the fight.

9.05.10

11:55 AM

The sound of the rubber mask snapping into place over his face.

9.05.10

11:56 AM

Every inch of him chafed, pulled tight, hot in the unbreathing suit, i

9.05.10

12:02 PM

t was all he could do to maintain balance on his tipped toes.

9.05.10

12:02 PM

“Take a good look at me,” he thought. “Dang.”

9.05.10

12:02 PM

@tallymebanana try motor oil and fescue...

9.05.10

12:11 PM

@thefruitofferment the not knowing what to do in this, yes. increasingly. maybe we can get together when you're out.

9.05.10

12:20 PM

keening is the noisome world

9.05.10

11:25 PM

as seen up close at a great distance

9.06.10

4:16 PM

was running down hill in dream fell sprained my mind. anybody 17 bucks i borrow?

9.07.10

4:12 PM

i strive all the time to not be man

9.08.10

12:43 AM

a bunch of skinny arbuckles

9.09.10

8:42 PM

dream clatter: all the silverware falling to the floor in the kitchen. you in another room listening.

9.11.10

7:16 AM

you waking up the day long

9.11.10

7:32 AM

it was nice to converse with you up here in the trees, old friend. you are well and good, the antidote to time.

9.12.10

5:05 AM

@themorningknows remember that old game we used to play, "color me purple"?

9.15.10

7:20 AM

@bennyj At the letter's close he wrote, "If I could tell you not to worry..."

9.15.10

7:28 AM

@themorningknows there was no winner.

9.15. 10

7:34 AM

how many times can you look at the same thing and not see it

9.15.10

7:44 AM

@toothyperkins as far as i know, wilbur's still chasing the sun.

9.15.10

8:15 AM

If a “public” pool ain’t going to allow “cut offs” then I don’t know what. WHAT’S IT COMING TO????

9.17.10

6:51 AM

it’s pretty simple, folks: a public intolerant of cut offs is a public I will not be a part of. i’m sorry, but.

9.17.10

9:11 PM

A bunch of us marching on pool at noon.

9.18.10

6:47 AM

If you want to make yourself heard, put on your cut offs and meet us at shaved ice stand across street.

9.18.10

6:48 AM

will admit: more than a little disappointed with the turnout today for the Cut Off March On Municipal Pool.

9.18.10

7:40 PM

i guess it's true what they say about eagles flying alone and true soldiers standing on their own.

9.18.10

7:41 PM

@american-ricky thanks, ricky. that's okay. i've marched alone before. lol. i hope your mom's feeling better.

9.18.10

7:52 PM

@american-ricky if you can get off work maybe we'll do the march again next saturday??!??!!!! keep it real, ricky.

9.18.10

7:55 PM

that guy in Spiderman, Jerry McGwire, when he said “show me the money!”

9.18.10

7:58 PM

NOTE to EVERYONE: do not ask me how the rally went

9.19.10

6:10 AM

I’m the “pool is half full" kind of guy. I just want to fill the other half of it is all.

9.19.10

6:11 AM

I could do without people using the term "crap shoot."

9.19.10

6:11 AM

the warm fist/fruit in my chest

9.19.10

9:01 PM

He said something about never being able to get it all together. He said something about the nature of time.

9.26.10

10:31 AM

Then he said something about going into the woods and rocking a deuce

9.26.10

10:32 AM

how it is the natural position for a body to take

9:26:10

10:33 AM

creating a hole and squatting over it

9:26.10

10:33 AM

the fine line between mad scientist and loser

9.28.10

7:51 PM

I found some beatable savings today at the sigh factory outlet. One begins to wonder if one is feeling like one's self.

9.30.10

8:46 PM

Mel Gibson was born without a face.

9.30.10

4:11 AM