Phishing scammers are terrible writers, readers, editors — yet folks get hooked by these texts all the time. Obviously we possess dismal media and technological literacies, but broad critical reading and comprehension literacy is the bigger concern.

The following phishing email is a gem for many reasons, but a special kicker is the dark, ironic, baffling final line "Thank you for your comprehension." Note the first-person voice confiding terror, note the random capitalizations: "We have faced some problems with your account, So Please update your account details." The author speaks to our illiterate, inchoate fears: No one wants to be "Temporary Limited" or de-activated. Just parse the email's title by reading aloud slowly and carefully (the single best writing and reading advice): "Statement account be is available log-in re-activated." The words do not say anything.

This email scam employs familiar, gross xenophobia and racism: Someone in "Mexico" with an "unknown device" has tried to reset your password.  You have been "accessed" and "locked" up. These dark others seek to "disable" you "permanently." Again, just read aloud slowly and carefully: "For security reason, your Apple account was locked until we hear from your." Also note the email address from which this "Apple" missive was sent: "verifications-accescostumers.com" — acces costumers? An account definitely needs to be verified, but not your account. Do not click. Do not ever click.

Note the recurring use of the 24-hour timeline, a shitty genre television and movie trope. "You Have 24hours To Solve The Problem." Something awful, something horrible looms but you have a slight agency. Act now or you will no longer be able "to enjoy all the benefits." And what are all the benefits we're enjoying? A recurring theme of these texts is the warning that something personal and abstract is about to be lost: freedom, mobility, access, benefits. Turns out these folks are just standard consumer capitalists pitching their products to our marked fear and loss.

It is true that "we have faced some problems . . . So Please" read carefully, critically. Read widely, open-mindedly. Read, read, read. It is a necessary process, a practice to be continually developed. You can start today. Read for pleasure, experience, wisdom. Enjoy all the benefits. The related processes of effective reading, writing, and learning are more than other products we could choose, if we wished, from a lurid buffet of products; these processes are integral to our human being-ness, to our shared, constantly changing existence, to our mutual growth and sustainability. We are getting turned off reading, writing, and learning, and the results will not be good.

We will disable permanently.

Thank you for your comprehension.

Kevin Ford and Ellar Coltrane's creative documentary By The River is now available to buy or rent via Vimeo On Demand: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/bytheriver.

Many pieces of my poetry appear, read by Ellar over the course of the narrative, and I do too. A unique work. Many thanks to Kevin and Ellar for making us part of this good project and for carrying fire.

From Vimeo: "By The River is a an experimental feature length documentary following a young man (Ellar Coltrane, Boyhood) as he travels cross-country on a train gathering sounds and recording conversations about life, creativity, and personal growth with people he meets along the way. Featuring original music by Don Piper, Califone, and poetry by Justin David Stone. Also available with purchase, two bonus features: Further Downstream is a one hour companion film made up of additional scenes from the movie and By The River - Lomokino is a seven minute short film collage on a hand-cranked 35 mm camera."

"For an even deeper dive, please check out the official By The River Podcast, featuring extended conversations from the film, as well as original music by Brian Dillon and Michael Barnhart. Available free on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/by-the-river/id1165151456?mt=2"

Filmmaker Richard Linklater said, "So searching and feeling . . . the film is a brave and sincere attempt at communication."

Department of Nude Jokes

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ghost.
Ghost who?
You

Selling this Ninetendo games TV for $10,000 or $15,000 — it don't work and its dirty but you can see what it is — Nothing included — many hours were spent etc — contact me please   soon

In the United States having
insurance was often like not
having insurance but
they told you you were fucked.

We could not remember the Dead
Meat Silence of Independence.

re-vision — never finished

Republican Evangelical Terrorists

murderers celebrating murder
and money—they love
this rich vengeful god shit

"We regret to inform you that you are not an empath. Yes, you feel bad a lot, but you are caged in subjectivity, performance, and consumerism. Please feel free to try again."

So bad at these :(